So Paul and I have decided the most important traits we want to instill in our children. One of these is obedience to authority. If our little ones are able to be obedient to authority we hope that one day they will choose to be obedient to God. Alright, so here's what happened today...
Little Miss Addyson has decided recently to throw away any food she doesn't want to eat. Then she asks for something different. I caught her the other day and decided enough was enough. So two nights ago we had cheeseburgers for dinner. Addyson refused to eat hers, which is typical of her with almost any food in the evening lately (except ice cream or junk food). I told her to put it on the counter and she would be having it for lunch the next day. She said that was fine with her, put her plate on the counter and went to play.
Addy wasn't so enthusiastic about this deal the next day at lunch but rather than argue, she picked her bun apart and ate it, leaving the lone cheeseburger. I put it back in the fridge and reminded her she was getting it for dinner, figuring she would be hungry enough by dinnertime to eat it. No luck. Dinner came and went without her even taking a bite of her burger. At this point I began to wonder if I should just back down. I decided I shouldn't do that just yet. So I explained that she was going to get it again for breakfast.
We had a very unhappy girl this morning when she asked for pancakes and I told her she would be eating her cheeseburger first. She screamed for a minute but quickly realized that wasn't going to get her anywhere, it never does. So she took a different approach today. She glared at me, "Den I will just throw it in the trash!" I told her she better not and that she would get a spanking for disobeying if she made that bad choice.
I'm not sure exactly when she did it, but she threw it in the trash within the next few minutes. When I saw this I asked her where her cheeseburger was and she told me the truth right away. Thank God for her honesty all the time! I got the wooden spoon and told her to go in her room. She obeyed fairly well, even following the whole spanking routine we go through each time without even a whimper. Just before I spanked her she asked, "after my spanking can I have pancakes?" SPEECHLESS! What do I say to a 2 year old who reasons things out this well? Before throwing her food away she decided that she would rather be spanked than have to eat her cheeseburger.
So, now I'm looking at this from 2 perspectives. Here's the first, the more negative one that concerns me: I fear that her present disobedience may cause more issues down the road. When she's a teenager will she choose to sneak out of the house to go to a party and just accept the consequences later? Will she disobey her superiors at work and lose her job? Will she stray from God and be lost?
The other perspective I see is that she is very strong-willed when she has her mind set to something. So, if she is living according to Jesus' will as she grows then maybe she will live radically for Him, accepting her consequences among peers, society or anyone to go to the ends of the earth to spread the gospel. This is definitely not something within this otherwise very sweet, good little girl that I want to tame!
I know I am biased toward my children and I tend to always look for the positive in everyone but here's how I perceive my daughter... She is strong-willed when she has her mind set to something. The rest of the time she is mostly compliant and does what she is told. She is the biggest helper and does so many chores around the house that most parents don't even expect from older children. She is nurturing and caring toward other children her age, older and younger. Except when she is really determined to have something done a different way she is very much of a rule-follower. She definitely has a servant's heart. She loves her family very much and reminds us of this daily, both verbally and in her actions. She watches everything her Mommy does and models her own actions very closely after the example I set.
So, what do I do about this strong-willed child? Did I handle things the correct way today? Ultimately only God has these answers.
I welcome any thoughts, comments or suggestions below.