If I had a dollar for every person who gave me a bewildered look upon finding out that I have delivered my babies naturally I could buy myself a new wardrobe (and I'm talking name-brand clothes, such big name brands that I don't even know the names of them because I usually just scour the clearance racks in department stores). No, seriously, for some reason it's just baffling to people that I choose to labor and deliver my children without the assistance of drugs. Then for a real shocker I like to inform them that I haven't been to a hospital to deliver a baby yet. Bwah ha ha... oh the looks! Pure mortification(I may or may not have just made that word up) in their eyes! It sounds a bit sick on my part but I really enjoy that shock-factor.
So there are two big questions people ask me following these conversations: 1. Why would you deliver without pain meds? and 2. Why would you deliver anywhere but a hospital, isn't that dangerous? Generally I just shrug and tell them it's the best thing for me any my baby and I've done plenty of research on the subject. I'm dismissive mostly because they aren't usually interested in actually hearing why and/or at least one of us has an antsy child who isn't going to stay entertained listening to me talk about the reasons for my decision.
Here's how I would respond to those questions given enough time. First and foremost, I deliver my babies without an epidural or any pain medicine because that's what's best for them. Can you honestly tell me that you believe it's possible to have an epidural going into a mother's body and not have that same medicine going through the bloodstream and into the baby's tiny body? Is there any way possible that it could be good for a child that small? Heck no! Each of my babies has turned their heads and began holding their own heads up within 24 hours of their birth. That alone is worth it to deal with the pain for a few hours. Now, there are other reasons as well. Another big one is that once an epidural is administered a mother is limited in mobility. She usually has to stay laying in a bed, just waiting for labor to progress. I don't know about you all, but I want labor to go as fast as possible! Let's face it, it hurts! Being able to be up and walking around, sitting on a birthing ball, squatting to help the baby descend, relaxing in a warm birthing pool, etc. sounds soooooooo much better to me than being stuck laying in a bed! I will have plenty of time to lay in bed in the days following the baby's arrival. Here's the last major reason I prefer to deliver naturally- NEEDLES. I'm not a fan. Especially of a large one they want to stick in my spine! Seriously? Maybe I'm the coward, but I prefer needles in my arm and only when absolutely necessary. No needles in my spine, please. Let's go back to the part where I was talking about labor going as fast as possible- when labor lasts too long doctors often push patients into having c-sections. Now, if I'm not into the idea of having a needle stuck in my back, I'm surely not into the idea of having my stomach sliced open. I can't think of many things that I would enjoy less. Is it absolutely necessary to have a c-section just because labor is lasting longer than a doctor would like? Surely not! But they don't tell you that. So many of my friends have been scared into agreeing to C-sections that most likely would have been avoided if they hadn't had epidurals. So let's think about this- enduring the pain for a couple hours or risking the chance (about 40% in Central Florida according to http://www.floridahealthfinder.gov/researchers/QuickStat/cesarean-buffer.aspx) of having to have a c-section. Personally I prefer the pain for a few hours as opposed to the possibility of a c-section and the pain of that for several weeks.
To answer the second part of this about why I choose not to deliver in hospitals and isn't it more dangerous. Plain and simple: I hate hospitals. I view them as a place for people to go when they are going to die. That's a bit extreme, I know, but in my mind that's what they are for. I'm not saying I'm against hospitals altogether, in fact I was in the hospital during my last pregnancy for a few hours to make sure I didn't go into preterm labor. My youngest son was in the hospital last year when he spiked a fever and my husband was in the hospital twice last year for surgery. So am I against them altogether? Surely not. I just don't feel that they are the best place for me to deliver a baby. Let's start with the sterility of a hospital- I can't stand the white walls everywhere. Is it unsanitary to paint them calming colors? Why white... everywhere? It's maddening in my mind. With my second baby I delivered at a birthing center that was beautifully decorated, like a calming atmosphere straight from a magazine. It was beautiful and peaceful to add to the ambiance of the entire birth experience. With my first child I also delivered at a birthing center, though it wasn't quite as elaborately decorated. It was homey though, nothing like a hospital. My youngest child was delivered in the comfort of our home. For me, this was wonderful. I was allowed to have candles lit, music playing, the lights dimmed. Child-birth has been more of a romantic-type experience than a standard procedure for me. No beeping machines, no commotion in the hallway outside my room (except the commotion of people I choose to allow there), no bright lights in my eyes, no IV connected to me. Just peace.
In addition to the ambiance I am able to enjoy outside of the hospital, I have control over what happens during and after my births. My 3 year old daughter stood beside me and watched as my last child was born. My husband was in the water with me and caught our sweet baby and laid her on my chest, where she remained until I was ready to get out of the birthing pool. She stayed with me every minute (besides a few short minutes when her Daddy took her out to meet her Grandpa.) Had we been in a hospital the nurses would have quickly swept her away to measure and weigh her and clean her up. It's not necessary to do it immediately after a baby is born. Why the rush? Weighing and measuring is something we got around to each time but not something we rushed to do.
After a baby is born the umbilical cord has to be cut. The umbilical cord is attached from the placenta to the baby. In a hospital this cord is cut immediately, as is procedure. For my last two children my wise midwife, Callie, taught me that it doesn't need to be done right away. In fact, the umbilical cord wasn't cut for several minutes after the baby was born, not until it stopped pulsating. This allowed the remainder of the blood in the placenta to make it's way into the baby's body. Blood is a pretty important thing... why not give the baby as much of it as possible?
By no means do I look down on anyone who chooses to deliver in a hospital, have a c-section or an epidural. Childbirth is a very personal thing in a woman's life and each woman has to make the decision to do what is best for her, her family and her baby. I am simply explaining what was best for us and why. I hope that readers of this will take something beneficial away from this. Remember Mommies, whether you deliver at home, a birthing center or a hospital, it is YOUR BIRTH! Explain clearly to your caretaker ahead of time what it is you want and if they are not willing to do that, find someone who is. Have a birthing plan and make sure that whoever will be in the room with you (husband, boyfriend, mother, sister, friend, etc) knows what you want and will take a firm stand to make sure your wishes are being held to by the hospital staff. As much as you may think you will be able to stand up for yourself during this time, you may not. Many of us react much differently during childbirth than other times and you may end up agreeing to something you will later regret. Know wha
So there are two big questions people ask me following these conversations: 1. Why would you deliver without pain meds? and 2. Why would you deliver anywhere but a hospital, isn't that dangerous? Generally I just shrug and tell them it's the best thing for me any my baby and I've done plenty of research on the subject. I'm dismissive mostly because they aren't usually interested in actually hearing why and/or at least one of us has an antsy child who isn't going to stay entertained listening to me talk about the reasons for my decision.
Here's how I would respond to those questions given enough time. First and foremost, I deliver my babies without an epidural or any pain medicine because that's what's best for them. Can you honestly tell me that you believe it's possible to have an epidural going into a mother's body and not have that same medicine going through the bloodstream and into the baby's tiny body? Is there any way possible that it could be good for a child that small? Heck no! Each of my babies has turned their heads and began holding their own heads up within 24 hours of their birth. That alone is worth it to deal with the pain for a few hours. Now, there are other reasons as well. Another big one is that once an epidural is administered a mother is limited in mobility. She usually has to stay laying in a bed, just waiting for labor to progress. I don't know about you all, but I want labor to go as fast as possible! Let's face it, it hurts! Being able to be up and walking around, sitting on a birthing ball, squatting to help the baby descend, relaxing in a warm birthing pool, etc. sounds soooooooo much better to me than being stuck laying in a bed! I will have plenty of time to lay in bed in the days following the baby's arrival. Here's the last major reason I prefer to deliver naturally- NEEDLES. I'm not a fan. Especially of a large one they want to stick in my spine! Seriously? Maybe I'm the coward, but I prefer needles in my arm and only when absolutely necessary. No needles in my spine, please. Let's go back to the part where I was talking about labor going as fast as possible- when labor lasts too long doctors often push patients into having c-sections. Now, if I'm not into the idea of having a needle stuck in my back, I'm surely not into the idea of having my stomach sliced open. I can't think of many things that I would enjoy less. Is it absolutely necessary to have a c-section just because labor is lasting longer than a doctor would like? Surely not! But they don't tell you that. So many of my friends have been scared into agreeing to C-sections that most likely would have been avoided if they hadn't had epidurals. So let's think about this- enduring the pain for a couple hours or risking the chance (about 40% in Central Florida according to http://www.floridahealthfinder.gov/researchers/QuickStat/cesarean-buffer.aspx) of having to have a c-section. Personally I prefer the pain for a few hours as opposed to the possibility of a c-section and the pain of that for several weeks.
To answer the second part of this about why I choose not to deliver in hospitals and isn't it more dangerous. Plain and simple: I hate hospitals. I view them as a place for people to go when they are going to die. That's a bit extreme, I know, but in my mind that's what they are for. I'm not saying I'm against hospitals altogether, in fact I was in the hospital during my last pregnancy for a few hours to make sure I didn't go into preterm labor. My youngest son was in the hospital last year when he spiked a fever and my husband was in the hospital twice last year for surgery. So am I against them altogether? Surely not. I just don't feel that they are the best place for me to deliver a baby. Let's start with the sterility of a hospital- I can't stand the white walls everywhere. Is it unsanitary to paint them calming colors? Why white... everywhere? It's maddening in my mind. With my second baby I delivered at a birthing center that was beautifully decorated, like a calming atmosphere straight from a magazine. It was beautiful and peaceful to add to the ambiance of the entire birth experience. With my first child I also delivered at a birthing center, though it wasn't quite as elaborately decorated. It was homey though, nothing like a hospital. My youngest child was delivered in the comfort of our home. For me, this was wonderful. I was allowed to have candles lit, music playing, the lights dimmed. Child-birth has been more of a romantic-type experience than a standard procedure for me. No beeping machines, no commotion in the hallway outside my room (except the commotion of people I choose to allow there), no bright lights in my eyes, no IV connected to me. Just peace.
In addition to the ambiance I am able to enjoy outside of the hospital, I have control over what happens during and after my births. My 3 year old daughter stood beside me and watched as my last child was born. My husband was in the water with me and caught our sweet baby and laid her on my chest, where she remained until I was ready to get out of the birthing pool. She stayed with me every minute (besides a few short minutes when her Daddy took her out to meet her Grandpa.) Had we been in a hospital the nurses would have quickly swept her away to measure and weigh her and clean her up. It's not necessary to do it immediately after a baby is born. Why the rush? Weighing and measuring is something we got around to each time but not something we rushed to do.
After a baby is born the umbilical cord has to be cut. The umbilical cord is attached from the placenta to the baby. In a hospital this cord is cut immediately, as is procedure. For my last two children my wise midwife, Callie, taught me that it doesn't need to be done right away. In fact, the umbilical cord wasn't cut for several minutes after the baby was born, not until it stopped pulsating. This allowed the remainder of the blood in the placenta to make it's way into the baby's body. Blood is a pretty important thing... why not give the baby as much of it as possible?
By no means do I look down on anyone who chooses to deliver in a hospital, have a c-section or an epidural. Childbirth is a very personal thing in a woman's life and each woman has to make the decision to do what is best for her, her family and her baby. I am simply explaining what was best for us and why. I hope that readers of this will take something beneficial away from this. Remember Mommies, whether you deliver at home, a birthing center or a hospital, it is YOUR BIRTH! Explain clearly to your caretaker ahead of time what it is you want and if they are not willing to do that, find someone who is. Have a birthing plan and make sure that whoever will be in the room with you (husband, boyfriend, mother, sister, friend, etc) knows what you want and will take a firm stand to make sure your wishes are being held to by the hospital staff. As much as you may think you will be able to stand up for yourself during this time, you may not. Many of us react much differently during childbirth than other times and you may end up agreeing to something you will later regret. Know wha